Seeking advice? Knowledge? Someone to kill your enemies? Look no further!
IM: Ask Dr Ninja
Email: dr.ninja@gmail.com
Here's the first T-shirt design - thanks to squidgey for the brainpower, and Critical for the ability to spend hours in MS Paint doing a lot of nothing.
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And now, popular syndicated advice columnist and close personal friend, Dr. Ninja is here to make your life easier by answering your questions!
Dear Dr. Ninja:
I am a 30 year old wife and mother of 2, but lately I have been having thoughts about a certain male coworker. Even though he's married, I think he feels the same way. What should I do?
The confused secretary
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Dear Confused Secretary:
You are whore. If you were my wife, or even one of my geisha, I would slaughter you like dirty whore that you are, or perhaps poison your sushi. I believe you should leave your husband so you do not dishonor him by making him kill you in front of your children. Go commit seppuku and leave me alone, I have to assasinate warlord.
Dr. Ninja
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Dear Dr. Ninja:
Recently, I have been thinking about my male friend in an increasingly sexual manner. He's always been nice to me, but recently I have started to notice his butt, and have been finding him more and more attractive? Does this make me gay?
Queer Eye?
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Dear Queer Eye:
Yes, this makes you gay. I am sending complimentary pink ninja uniform, because Dr. Ninja does not hate homosexuals. Just the homosexual ninjas of Dr. Ninja's enemy.
Dr. Ninja
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Dear Dr. Ninja:
I feel like I'm stuck in a dead-end job, with no chance of promotion. What should I do?
Stagnant
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Dear Stagnant:
Become ninja. Job prospects good, get to kill people often, and good dental plan.
Dr. Ninja
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Dear Dr. Ninja:
I'm only 15 years old, but I met a really great girl in my Trigonometry class. She's funny, smart, and really cute. I'm really interested in her, and she invited me to a party this Friday night, but my parents won't let me go because there won't be adult supervision. What should I do?
Desperately Seeking Susan
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Dear Desperately:
Please stop whining about sissy life. When Dr. Ninja was 15, Dr. Ninja had already avenged parents murder and had just finished battling horrible monsters from hell. In fact, for 15th birthday, Dr. Ninja got stabbed by half-man, half-demon wielding pitchfork and defiling buddhist temple. Was not good day for Dr. Ninja. So, Dr. Ninja suggests you slip green lotus into mother and father's ceremonial tea, and then steathly perform ninja vanish when parents become unconscious. Remember ancient ninja secret: When everyone become unconscious, you become invisible.
Dr. Ninja
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Well folks, that all for now. Dr. Ninja say goodnight, and make sure to kill in their sleep any masterless samurai who wander land, because they always turn out to be badass ninja killers.
Peace out, Dr. Ninja
Posted at 09:35 am by Dr. Ninja
 | | | Magnus
February 26, 2005 06:33 PM PST
Oh .. My .. God ..!
Dr. Ninja, you have completely changed my life! Before i red your fabolous advises, and knew of you're ever-honourable knowledge, I was indeed a sad panda.
But you, Dr. Ninja, you have helped me to a better life!
Thank You | |
| | | super ed
February 11, 2005 05:58 PM PST
r u super ninja if so tell me if i'm super ninja. | |
| | | super ed
February 11, 2005 05:58 PM PST
r u super ninja if so tell me if i'm super ninja. | |
| | | LeJoe
January 29, 2005 11:27 AM PST
Yeah, where could I actually find a pink ninja costume? | |
| | | Tuza
August 6, 2004 02:38 PM PDT
Dear Dr. Ninja
I want to become a ninja real bad, but I can't find any dojo, what do you suggest me to do? | |
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